Saturday, 21 January 2017


I hope you have enjoyed reading this series of posts (starting at [1]) as much as I enjoyed writing them. I have also consolidated them into a single "Mini Blog Novel". Please do share it if you like it. That will help me get across my effort at writing to more readers who may enjoy it.

Here's sharing some thoughts as I put the pen down on this story:

Whether it is the blues, or rock n' roll, or jazz, or folk music, or the opera, or ghazals, or light Indian music, many songs are about love based on sexuality. I suppose that is only natural since sexual attraction and the manner in which the masculine and feminine aspects are drawn towards and complement each other is perhaps one of the stronger pulls many experience in their lives. Yet there is something that worries and troubles me and I would like to talk about it a bit as I bring this series of posts to a close.

It seems that some people are entering relationships at early ages nowadays. By early I mean in schools and the beginning years of college life. I do not wish to lay a morality based sermon on anyone but rather simply appeal to the common sense that I believe is innate in everyone.

There is something called "adulthood" that we all recognize and are aware of. There is a certain psycho-physio-logical development that needs to happen in our minds and bodies before we can call ourselves adults. Reaching this stage is essential if one is to appreciate the intimacy between lovers in its true sense. And this development takes its time. It cannot be hurried. If one enters a sexual relationship before this development has consolidated in their being, one risks either being overwhelmed by it or trivializing it to an extent that it may become difficult to appreciate and have a fulfilling relationship later in life. Worse, one can get emotionally and psychologically disturbed and this can take a long time to heal later. Sex and intimacy are not just plain physical acts and neither do relationships have to be just about responding to the highs and lows of emotions. Viewed in the right spirit, these lead to a communion between two human beings that can be very beautiful and deep. But one has to arrive at a certain stage of life within for this to happen first.

Your school and college years are for you to grow as individuals and consolidate yourselves. Use these years to understand yourselves, gain a mastery over your minds and emotions and consolidate your personalities. If this doesn't happen, if you are not consolidated within as a mature individual, where is the question of you actually relating with another individual in a meaningful manner?

[As someone I have deeply respected over the years said once: In a relationship one expects that half and half will make one but it seems like today half and half makes one fourth! I would take that one step further. I think often half and half simply cancel out and arrive at a zero.

Isn't this what we are seeing around us? I think one significant reason for this is that people have not paid attention to and spent their younger years in growing in wisdom and maturity themselves.]

Alongside, discover your callings and nurture them. Resolve to aspire for excellence in whatever subjects or pursuits you feel passionate about. It may be science or mathematics, or history, or art, or music, or sports, or law, or medicine, or philosophy, or yoga, or meditation and spirituality, or whichever other positive pursuit you find your calling in. Focus your energies and attention in whichever direction you wish to grow in and develop the momentum that will propel you towards trying to attain a mastery of it in your lives. Your school and college days are precious from this viewpoint. This time and the levels of energy you carry with you now will never come back. Use these years very very sensibly.

And when you are consolidated, when you are clear about and focused on your goals, when you are grown up, wise and mature, and feel that having a companion would make your life and the journey through it more beautiful, by all means go for it! If you and your partner enter a relationship or marriage with a developed wisdom and maturity, chances are that you will have a fulfilling relationship. May it be so for you, may you be happy and may you sing many a song for each other.

But then sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to despite all our best intentions and efforts. This is where my emphasis on being clear about your individual focus and a commitment to aspiring for excellence in subjects or pursuits of your choice comes into play. If you develop this clarity when you are young, you will be able to handle the downs of life that much better. So if things are not working out for you and your partner or spouse despite your best efforts, well, sometimes one has to let go and accept that sadness also comes around once in a while in life. Let go when you know you've given it your best and its time to let go, sing yourself a few blues songs, and then move on...

I wish you the very best in all aspects of your life! Do not stop short of complete enlightenment! As one of my favorite personalities, Swami Vivekananda, once said:

Arise, awake, and stop not till the goal is reached.

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