Saturday, 21 January 2017


[This post can be read independently. But if you are interested, the story starts here:]
I still remember the affection with which I was woken up that Saturday morning. It was a kick to my backside that made me open my eyes, only to see Ptom mock scowling at me with a command: “Get up or you miss breakfast!”.

Breakfast? Already? It was Saturday morning for crying out loud and it certainly didn’t feel like I had been sleeping for that long. So I pulled myself up on my elbows rather unwillingly, rubbed my eyes as I looked around the room to see everyone else already up and about, and asked what the time was.

“The Sun’s up, that’s what time it is.” said Sonali with a giggle as she walked across the room.

(It was only around 7:30 AM! Lest anyone get the impression that I was slumbering beyond acceptable limits.)

To be honest, I've never been too early a riser. Fell into the habit of reading or studying late early in life and that tendency still persists. But this was something Sonali seemed to be particular about: waking up early. I had once asked her why. What was it that motivated her to get up early?

Her response was so simple and carried so much innocence that it has stayed with me :) : "It's beautiful in the mornings", she said, "I like to see sunrises and enjoy the dawn.".

Having tried it since, I see the truth in what Sonali said. Whenever I do wake up early enough to see the sun rise and experience the silence, freshness and beauty that the dawn holds, I remember that conversation. I do recommend the experience to you if you haven’t had it earlier. Wake up early once in a while with no agenda, with no plan, but to just quietly enjoy that half an hour or so in which the Sun comes up. Just observe, experience and let the beauty, silence and freshness sink in. Soak in the dawn as fully as you can. Fall silent for a moment and feel beautiful and new.

Yes, there might be genuine problems that you are facing. Maybe you are finding it difficult to get a job of your liking. Maybe you are facing an emergency situation for yourself or a loved one and need money and support that is not forthcoming easily (sites like may help). Maybe you are at a point in your life where you are finding it difficult to decide which field of study or career path to go after (take a look at - it may give some ideas). Maybe you've already made this choice in the past and now realize that you would prefer to do something different and are feeling stuck (take a look at - it may help in devising a strategy to try and transition to a different field of study or activity that you prefer). You might be able to solve some problems : and your best shot is to try and do so with as clear, calm and focused a mind as possible. Then there might be some aspects of your life that are troublesome but difficult to change. Even in such situations, which at times require courageous resilience and grit to move forward, your best shot at making the best of what you have and achieving a measure of happiness and fulfilment in life lies in having as calm and clear a mind as possible.

You and I both have our personal challenges to face. Then we are living in a social milieu that presents its own challenges which affect our lives as well as others'. There is gender inequality, persisting elements of racism, religious conflicts, caste oppression and conflict, poverty, excessive patriarchy in some places and maybe its contrasting scenario in others, workplace harassments and exploitations, limited opportunities, corruption. These are all real challenges and the last thing I would suggest to anyone is that they don’t meet them head on. I fight my fights every day as well and go through my share of frustrating moments and heartburns.

But think: What’s a better strategy? Face all these challenges while being burdened down and feeling depressed and negative or face them with a clear mind, sharp intellect and a firm attitude?

I don’t think what I’m pointing out is anything new. Isn’t this what Krishna also teaches Arjun in the Gita? Be centred within, then fight.

Then there is also a whole lot of unnecessary junk we carry in our minds. And a large part of it has to do with what others say or think of us.

You think for yourself: what are these issues compared to far more real and genuine problems that many many others on this planet are grappling with right this moment? There is a whole population out there who is not even guaranteed three square meals a day. Many don’t have a roof over their heads. Many who do live in conditions that are worse than how we would allow our bathrooms to be. In addition the whole wide world seems to have made it its business to hurt and humiliate them further, to show them what being treated with coldness and inhumanity really feels like. They have genuine pain and distress to confront. Many of us have not a worry in comparison. Compared to them, we are outright blessed with good fortune.

This level of junk deserves simply this: Locate it in your mind, mark it, right click, move to trash. Then, empty trash. Be done with it. People are who they are and you are who you are. As long as you have your chin up and are giving it your best, it’s all good. You’ll likely win some and lose some. That’s just how it goes. Smile through it. Be happy.

Say someone has hurt you with their words or actions. You want to forgive and stay connected? Fine. You are ok with forgiving but not with staying connected? Fine. You would prefer that you neither forgive nor have anything to do with some? Fine. It’s really your choice to make. Make it. But offload all the negative emotions. Make your inner real estate more expensive than any out there. Space is limited. Resolve: Thou shalt not fill it with junk. Thou shalt fill it with beauty and benediction instead. It’s your choice. Make it.

Let go. Let go of all that is unnecessarily occupying space in your mind. Let go. Soak in the dawn.

And once you are done forgiving (or not) others, reflect for a moment on your own life, times when you may have brought pain to others, acts for which you ought to be seeking forgiveness. See if you can reach out to such people, reconnect and seek their forgiveness. See if the past can be let go and friendships renewed. If yes, good. If not, then accept that eventuality gracefully. Learn your lessons and resolve to never repeat your mistakes again. Then that's it. Move forward. Move forward each day with a purer intent and character than before. Live a life of some caliber, some standard. You have all the right and opportunity to express the pinnacle of humanity, nay, divinity itself, through you. Do it.

Experiencing a dawn silently and fully is one way to become silent and feel renewed. Then with a clear and calm mind, plan the day out. Meet its challenges with a firm resolve. Yet, try not to lose your centredness and smile through it all. Win or lose at the end of it all, whatever amount of joy you do have right now is what you have right now. Letting that go too wouldn’t make for sound economic sense, would it?

“Did I snore too much?”, I asked, since all three of us (Prosh, Lan and myself) had slept on the living room carpet. They just gave me a silent look that indicated that the answer to that question wouldn’t be a pleasant one but Ptom didn’t hold back:

“Like an elephant with sinus!”.

Honest chap, he. Huh.

Anyway, what’s a few snores between friends? So let’s not dwell on that too much now.

Ptom, as in Amartya Saha, was a senior of mine at IIT Bombay. We stayed in the same hostel and as you may have guessed based on almost everyone I have introduced you to so far I had gravitated to him and his small group of friends because of my interest in music. I was learning how to play the guitar at the time and these chaps were all about music. Amartya used to play the bass as well as the acoustic guitar. His sense of rhythm and groove was extraordinary and there were many an evening when he would be seen sitting outside his room and quietly strumming away. Then there was Zulfiquar Hyder Ali (we just called him Zulfi or Zulf), who wasn’t a fellow student at IIT Bombay but used to visit often. Hailing from Shillong he was evidence in person of the lore that music runs in the blood of people from the north east. A Master guitar player, he held the distinction of having played lead guitar for a legendary rock band from the north east called Blood and Thunder when he was just eighteen. A physicist by academic training, turned IT and software professional later in life, he had an elaborate repertoire of songs that he had mastered on the guitar. He used to often improvise as well and it used to be a great pleasure to listen to him. There was Shekhar, or just Freak Sheek, another non-student friend who was learning his ropes as a sound engineer at the time and I believe has now made it his full time profession. Ranjit Roy, or Usam, wasn’t a musician himself but was a great guy who used to love rock music tremendously. And of course, Prabhakar Kolli, who was a friend working in the middle east at the time and used to bring along cassette tapes as gifts whenever he visited. CDs and MP3 files hadn’t come around then and these tapes were gold for us.

It was a great group of guys to hang out with. I was younger than all of them but they absorbed me in their group quite nicely and I used to enjoy spending time with them. If there is one quality that I can pin down with this group of friends, it was non-pretentiousness. These were people who were frank, open and honest. They were living lives of genuine interest and had neither the time nor any inclination towards small mindedness of any sort. They kept it real.

I decided to take my shower after breakfast and joined everyone in the kitchen after quickly freshening up. There was milk and orange juice to choose from along with bananas and toasted bread on which we spread honey, cheese or butter to our taste. There was also a box of cereal on the table for those who preferred some with their milk. We all lived lives that were fairly packed at the time and there hardly used to be time to cook ourselves more traditional Indian breakfasts. But we still kept it healthy and ensured a fair amount of variety by shuffling between different fruits, juices and types of cereal.

We dug in and discussed our plans for the rest of the day as we ate.

Sonali had to go to the university for a bit to attend to some experiments in her lab and the plan was to head to the festival after lunch. The rest of us decided to do some grocery shopping in the meanwhile and stock up for the weekend. So after breakfast and a round of chai, we all picked up a backpack each and stepped out. It was about ten in the morning so the weather was nice and warm. The Sun wasn’t high in the sky and bearing down with full intensity yet, so it was a pleasant walk as we made our way to Jim and Soo Jung’s organic food mart about a mile and a half from Ptom’s apartment.

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